A Comprehensive list of popular quotes and phrases that have been used in the show over the years...Enjoy!

"Bouncebackability" - The Ability To Bounce Back

"Easy Easy Easy.. Ya Shataaapp (You Shut up)"

"FOUR MORE YEARS, FOUR MORE YEARS" - How long it will take before Robbie Knox gets a girlfriend

"A pool without rules is a pool for fouls" - Les from Pools News

"Here comes the wave-machine" - Les from Pools News warning people that he is about to wave to someone

"I bet you were glad to see the finish?
Nah Nah, i dont liken the Finnish, and i think one of them stole my car stereo" - A few people

''Like theeese,'' the fixtures man

''You dishing me? I'll sauce you out, man'' An angry DJ Spoonhands

''Way to hustle'' All Americans when talking about 'soccer'

''I've got something to do in Russia, so Moscow'' Sad Joe

"I bet you were glad to see the finish?
Nah Nah, i dont liken the Finnish, and i think one of them stole my car stereo" - A few people

''Like theeese,'' the fixtures man

''You dishing me? I'll sauce you out, man'' An angry DJ Spoonhands

''Way to hustle'' All Americans when talking about 'soccer'

''I've got something to do in Russia, so Moscow'' Sad Joe

''Knowledge is the bomb'' Tim

''That is some goal,'' Budding commentator Bradley Walsh's defining moment

''It's only Ray Parlour,'' Failing commentator Tim Lovejoy's defining moment

''Love you long time,'' She Mail about the not-to-be-discussed-on-Soccer-AM subjects

''A big fat lonely zero,'' If the Fans of of the Week fail to score

''It'll never last,'' Tim about the Soccerette's relationship

''Shoddy,'' Anyone

''The Mighty Blues,'' Tim about his beloved Chelsea

''Dirty, smelly Leeds,'' Tim about his despised Leeds

''It could be a sticky time for the Toffees,'' Tim's weekly prediction for Everton

'What's next? Monkey tennis?,'' Tim on encouraging women to play football

''Calm down, calm down,'' Brian to the rest of the crew

''Rocket - you're sacked,'' Anyone to Rocket

''Are you Man U, you?'' Question asked of Man Utd fans

''Why-oh, why-oh spells yoyo,'' Tim

''Splitter,'' Tim or Helen about the van Hooijdonks or Anelkas of this world

''The fishy people,'' Soccer AM's definition for Grimsby Town and their fans

''Leave it for Mellor,'' Tim/Helen about the Phono Nono's

''That's not olden, that's golden!,'' Tim about his gags

''Warsaw - the only Polish team in the English league,'' Tim/Sheephead etc

''Bing bong Bristol battle,'' Soccer AM term for Brisol derbies

''The Glory Hornet Boys,'' Tim about his 2nd favourite team, Watford

''He's a different gwavy,'' Tim about players who are of a different class

''Gawd bless the Queen mum,'' Leyton Orient fans

''The Mothers,'' Tim's term for Motherwell

''Come on the Grecians,'' The crew, cheering on Exeter

''I'm cut - zero per cent body fat!'' Tim

''Cobblers - no really, it is Northampton,'' Tim or Helen

''Egg chasers,'' anyone; about bloomin' egg-chasers (rugby players)

''Ratatouille'' anyone Welsh who appears on the show

''Tax dodger'' directed at students/people at college

''MAGGIE'' anyone Scottish

''Deee-raah, deee-raah'' the Colonel and Ginger, from the Mess

''Has anyone seen my Tits Marsh?'' Neil as Charlie Dimmock

''Who's from Blackpool? Who is and who isn't? Amateurs, get past'' the stereotypical resident from Manchester

''Squash 'em'' a stereotypical Torquay fan

''Naughty, naughty, very naughty'' the Shamen

''In Dorset?'' ''Of course I would, it's a lovely place'' Tim and/or Helen

''Up the Kassam - size of a mouse'' the crew - about Oxford's new stadium

''And Leicester'' Tim

''Sometimes reality is stranger than friction'' Tim

''She's got the lot!'' Rocket

''You've got nothing in your locker!'' Tim

''Boosh boosh'' All German football fans, including Herr Bang



Older Quotes:

''Lobstar, lobstar, fish fish,'' The all-seeing LOBSTAR Boy

''Joey Woodwork,'' Steve and Jonty - in Sunday League Soccer

''D D D D D D D Desailly, D D D D D D D D D D D D God!'' Tim's unpopular terrace chant for Desailly

''Vinny Jones isn't into football, he's into THESPIANS,'' Tim during the rubbish game Fifteen to None, that luckily was scrapped

''What do you think of Steve Coppell?'' Tim to the Fans of the Week

''You don't get anything for a pear/pair,'' Tim in Play Your Players Right

''You're an eejit,'' Geoff the Ref

''Rob Jones hasn't scored for the EIGHT SEASONS that he's played for Liverpool,'' Tim before Play Your Players Right, and before that Wheel of Football

''I AM the undisputed King of Douglas impressions,'' Tim about his impressions of Jack Douglas

''Football in one hand, popular music in the other,'' Tim and Helen when they have a footballer and a person from the world of popular music on the same show

''Is it a record?'' Tim

''There's only one-chope,'' Anyone - about Paulo Wanchope

''The David Flitcroft School of Unsportsmanship Behaviour,'' when anyone does anything unsporting which is shown on a 3rd Eye

''Is it a fox?'' Tim or Helen about Leicester

''I spend my waking hours scouring through them papers, looking for ludicrous quotes or sayings,'' Helen

''Just your five,'' Anyone about the Five Minute Phone In

''Do my feet look big in these?'' Tim

''Sneaky Derby,'' Tim when Derby were sneaky. Now they're just rubbish

''Ian Beale,'' Anyone Welsh who appears on the show

''Alan Partridge, knowing me knowing you AHA!'' Tim - about ex-Torquay man Scott Partridge

''Spud Peddler and girl from Blue Peter - we are STILL the only breakfast show in Britain to bring you goals, goals and goals/nonny!'' Helen

''There's a piper down,'' Anyone Scottish

''Runaround,'' Shandy as Mike Reed

''The lovely Joe Guest,'' Tim about the lovely Joe Guest

''Fundamentally wrong,'' anyone Scottish

''Ohh aarr Badger juice,'' Anyone - mocking Hells Bells' West Country origins

''Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyee,'' The Sand Dancers by the LOBSTAR net and anyone from the North-East

''Oi - FISHEAD,'' everyone to the fishead

''I'm a scary presenter,'' Tim

''No-one likes us, but we don't care,'' Tim

''Duncan and PJ or whatever they're called,'' Tim or Helen, talking about Duncan and PJ, or whatever they're called (not needed anymore as they have quit due to Soccer AM being too good for them)

''There's a big derby match, because Derby are playing,'' Tim

''It's a marathon - not a sprint,'' Tim or Helen; about the football season and the Soccer AM series

''Don't look into Wes Saunders' eyes,'' The crew - warning players about Torquay manager Wes Saunders who hypnotises players into signing for Torquay

''Deportivooooooooooooo,'' The bloke who used to read out the Spanish results

''It's a disgrace,'' Fenners as Roy Hodgson, about the Phono-Nonos

''Stand up Paul - I am standing up,'' or ''Have you seen my wife, the lovely Debbie McGhee?'' Anyone - in their special Paul Daniels voice

''Double sweet double duvet, double manges-tu!,'' Tim - immitating Badgers striker The Kidd

''Women - know your limits,'' Tim warning women

''Nonny,'' Anyone

''Boing, boing, Badgers Badgers,'' The Badgers' universally known anthem

''The Wengerboys,'' Tim's name for Arsenal